Housewifeism

Scary times, innit?

The Tradwife. What the fuck is that?

Sure, I went down the rabbit hole of this… movement for a couple of days on Tik Tok and YouTube. I watched the big hitters, the Bible Thumpers, and the persuasive. I was pretty motivated to bake bread and clean after watching a couple of them, I’m NOT going to lie.

However, how do I, a demonic matriarch of authority in the home, adhere to this strict lifestyle? I don’t believe in God or any God for that matter. I DON’T let my husband tell me what to do or what to think. When we finally started taking our marriage seriously (we eloped), I straight up told him “You’re the boss of a bunch of sailors and you can run a ship, but I run this house. You have no say here.”

Fundamentally, he has absolutely no power in the home. I wake up and open the blinds to let light in and vacuum at like 6am. He hates this. Well, tough tiddies, either I clean at 6am, or you’re not getting a clean home that day.

I say he has no power in the home, and that is mostly limited to what I cook that day, what I wear, how I lead the home, and what I decide to do with my time. He helps out a lot with the cleaning and cooking sometimes, but the majority of the work falls to me.

And you know what, I like it! I love it even!

I’ve been a professional Housewife for 12 years now. I kind of think I know what I’m doing. So when I get the chance to clean and cook and show off my homemaking skills, I get a little giddy.

For myself.

I’m not doing it because my husband will revere me as a goddess mother and homemaker. I’m not doing it for God. And I’m not doing it to adhere to a “status quo”. I’m doing it for me and me alone.

Cleaning and making the home nice adds to my mental health so well, that most days, I forget I’m severely mentally ill. Having a clean home is just what hits the spot.

So, how can you hit that housewife dopamine in the back of your brain without falling into the red-pilled Republican Tradwife Trap? Follow me.

Housewifeism.

Lean into me for a couple of seconds. There are thousands and thousands of young women and even men and people of all genders who want to stay at home and just clean and cook. It started with that Covid-19 trend, Cottagecore.

When we were stranded and not allowed to be near one another, a bunch of rich white people fled to the countryside, probably to their summer cabins, threw on a sundress from Targed and a straw hat with a basket filled with store-bought bread. They frolicked, they spun, they smiled, they milked a cow the wrong way and did nothing with the milk.

I’m a bit tense about these people. Mostly because everything you see on social media is just not true, this cottage-core phase was just that, a phase. No one really lives like that AND looks that pretty at the same time. Farm work is hard work, and the only way you can pull something like that off full-time is by being… say it with me… RICH.

But so is being a housewife in 2024.

Let’s face it, the cost of living in America has skyrocketed. It’s not looking to get any better either. Many married couples are dual income just to make rent or mortgage. Having children is dwindling and after the pandemic, many people are just staying home more and more.

Not saying these are bad things, the aspect of the “family dynamic” changes every generation. In the 50’s, the “Nuclear Family” was popular. 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, a housewife in a dress and apron, and a family man working a long-hour job.

Today, both man and wife work, the child is in childcare, and the house is a wreck. You both come home after picking the baby up from childcare, look at each other, and swear this weekend, when you both are off, you’ll deal with it. You never do.

So how do you, a young woman I’m assuming you are as you’re reading this, become a housewife and break the cycle, AND not fall into the Tradwife trap?

My methods and advice is not Godly, I’m just going to straight up say it. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it.

You need to marry well off to rich. You NEED to find men that know what they’re doing and you need to get lucky when you’re looking.

The best type of men to court and cultivate a relationship with are Military Officers. I’m, personally, married to a US Navy Officer, he makes almost $6k a month when he’s deployed with the ship, and $4.5k a month when stationed at home. This is more than enough to feed us, fund our lifestyles, and keep kids happy while I get to stay at home. Plus our rent is covered by Military BAH.

“I don’t want to marry a military man!” YEAH, ME NEITHER.

But, I love Cody so much that if he left the Navy and got a regular job, I would happily stop being a housewife and get a job alongside him. His being in the military isn’t a deal breaker.

Alas, this is the only suggestion I can give you. You have a better chance of finding someone in the Military, who’s an officer, and not red-pilled enough to try and “domesticate” you when you both get married. Plus, he will make enough money to support you in staying home.

Next, you’re going to have to set the clear home ground rules. You’re married now, happy and healthy, but he has his job and you have yours. You need to treat Housewifeism as a full-time job where you set your own hours and schedule. As for me, I get up at 6 am and my day is done by 9 am.

Sure, I clean and pick up throughout the day, and my son hates the vacuum so I wait until he’s up and downstairs to do that for his room, but essentially, I’m done before the day is even started. Dishes washed, laundry started and folded, vacuumed and candles going.

Next, you need to establish your aesthetic. The Tradwife only focuses on giving glory to God and her husband. Nothing wrong with that in the long run, I guess, but for YOU, who do not subscribe to the Tradwife rhetoric, and instead subscribe to Housewifeism, you carry your home in a specific aesthetic.

Minimalist, Flowers, “cottagecore-chic”, Retro 50’s, Wartime 45’, I don’t care. Pick a theme your house is going to run with and start maintaining it. Not JUST for your husband and maybe God, if you’re into that sort of thing; but for yourself.

You need to treat the house as an extension of your blood. It’s the vessel to get to you. It is your temple, your war room, your church. You need to be on top of it almost at all times.

The best way I stay on top of my home is by utilizing the 30-minute timer walkthrough. Every 30 minutes, I get up or stop what I’m doing and make a quick walkthrough of the home. My children LOVE to take food upstairs or dishes. By doing this, I can be on top of bringing trash, food, and dishes downstairs.

Also, this lets me hit up my husband a couple of times a day to ask if he needs anything. I will write a Blog post soon about caring for your spouse in a Housewifeism way that still keeps your power in the home and your self-respect.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is, this is just the opening post to what I will be talking about in a more extensive light on this blog. I’ll talk about husbands, wives, children, children having, children rearing, cleaning, tips and tricks, and everything you might need to know to establish yourself in Housewifeism.

If you want to learn more about Housewifeism, establish yourself as the King of the home, take your power back, and transform your space into an aesthetic wonderland, subscribe to my blog!!